


Everything That Kills Me

by Caiternate



Category: Supernatural, Supernatural: The Next Generation - Fandom, team free will 2.0 - Fandom
Genre: F/M, I have a thing for pickup trucks, M/M, Multi, Ridiculous UST, fanfic of a fanfic, they do it in the truck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-17
Updated: 2014-08-29
Packaged: 2018-01-25 11:35:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1647218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caiternate/pseuds/Caiternate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>can we please talk about ben and jesse and claire parked out in the middle of nowhere, lying in the back of a truck and watching the stars.<br/>once definitely happens in the era of ridiculous unresolved sexual tension pre-only human.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dreaming About the Things That We Could Be

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Cambion](https://archiveofourown.org/works/221050) by [callowyn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/callowyn/pseuds/callowyn), [thegeminisage](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegeminisage/pseuds/thegeminisage). 



> This fic is set to [this ](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hT_nvWreIhg), because I'm a corny idiot.

They’ve just finished a hunt, one of the scary ones where Jesse’s almost too late and they can’t get the image of Ben, pale and nearly lifeless on the forest floor, out of their heads. When they get back to the car, Claire doesn’t drive back to the motel. Instead, she turns onto the road out of town and keeps driving, down wooded backroads, gripping the steering wheel until her knuckles turn white and the sky slips from blue to gold. After sunset, the tension seems to drain from her shoulders almost instantly. They’re a long way from a roof and a bed- Ben had considered saying something when she ignored the sign for Omaha three hours ago, but it had felt wrong to speak at all, and they haven’t passed any other road signs since. The road is still paved, but barely so, and when they break out of the woods ten minutes later, Claire turns them off onto the shoulder and the truck shudders to a halt.

Jesse’s never seen Claire cry, but this is the closest she’s been that he can remember, slumped against the steering wheel with her eyes closed. He understands, to an extent- the panic he’d felt when he turned back from the burnt-out corpse of the werewolf to see Claire kneeling wordlessly by Ben’s limp form had nearly stopped his heart. He can only imagine what it had been like for Claire, who had seen it all happen.

After a minute, Claire turns to Ben, quietly watching her from his seat, his bloodstained jacket the only sign of his close call that morning.

“Do we still have those sleeping bags?” She asks, breaking the hours-long stretch of silence.

“Yeah. We left them in the back, I think. Only two, though.”

Claire shrugs. “We’ll fold them out. I don’t know how far it is to a motel.”

She unlocks the door of the car and slips out, swinging into the bed of the truck. Jesse can hear her rustling around, digging out the sleeping bags. He glances at Ben.

“She’s fine. She’s got a point.” He grins “Plus, the stars around here are awesome.”

As soon as he steps out of the car, Jesse can see that, yes, the stars are awesome. But it’s not until Ben’s turned out the light in the truck and the three of them are laid out in the back of the truck, lying on the two unzipped sleeping bags, that the full _awesomeness_ of them hits him.

The sky is full of light. The milky way stretches beyond the constellations, a dusty, luminous highway which reminds him of the roads he’s driven with Ben and Claire- the phrase _as above, so below_ comes unexpectedly to mind.

Next to Jesse, Ben starts shaking with laughter. On his other side, Claire sighs.

“Are you still laughing about Orion’s sword?” She asks.

“That’s not a sword. No way in hell is that a sword.” Ben insists.

“Jesse, okay, see Orion?” He points up to a row of three stars.

“That’s his belt. So then above that’s those two stars are his shoulders, yeah? So below the belt, those two stars are his legs. And between those…”

“...Is his sword.” Claire finishes.

“...Is his dick.” Ben says. Jesse laughs, and Ben nudges his shoulder, continuing, encouraged.

“That’s not a sword, it’s way too small. It would have to be a dagger. And why the hell would you put a dagger there?”

Claire doesn’t laugh, but she scoots in closer to Ben and doesn’t argue anymore. As usual, Ben has to fight the urge to put an arm around her shoulders, reassure her that he’s still alive, still here, but he doesn’t want to scare her back into her shell, so he gives her an out instead.

“I’d forgotten how cold it gets out here.”

“Yeah.” Claire says lightly. She could reach out for Ben’s hand, she knows she could, and he wouldn’t ask any questions, but still she hesitates.

“You okay, Jesse?”

“I’m fine.” He says, but Ben feels him shift almost imperceptibly closer. He could angst about this, he supposes; he could worry about saying something he can’t take back or worry about cuddling- _moving_ \- too close to someone in the middle of the night, but he’s not going to. Claire’s already gone still next to him, and so he relaxes, feeling the faint heat from the bodies of the two most important people in the world. _Besides Dean_ he almost corrects himself, but then retracts the correction. He settles in between the two most important people in the world, besides nobody, and closes his eyes.

Jesse feels Ben relax, and now he is alone with the stars. They are not the exact same stars he’d gotten used to in Australia, the constellations are different here. But he remembers lying alone under the same sky, watching the desert moon rise over brush, and the memory comes with a tightening in his chest which cannot be homesickness, not when he’s finally found a home in the back of a truck in a field in Nebraska.


	2. Lay My Head Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Following the previous chapter to its logical conclusion, i.e. sex in the truck. Takes place post-Envesseled, the basic premise of which I've gotten an idea of from the cambionverse tumblr.

Somehow, after all this, they find themselves back in Nebraska. Claire drives, savoring the feeling of being alone in her body once more. Jesse notices with relief the almost miraculous change from the silent, frightened Claire who had been slipping away from him all these weeks.

“He’s totally gone, then?”

“I don’t know about _totally_.” Claire admits. “Try me.”

“Robert Plant was the first president of the United States.” Ben offers. Claire winces and rubs her temple.

“Yep. There we go.”

“Ben wears ladies’ underpants.” Jesse says quietly from the window seat.

“Hmm.” She pauses, frowning. “Nothing. Ben, you got something you want to tell us?”

“What? I don’t-” Ben protests, until Claire cracks the hugest smile he’s seen since Castiel brought him back to life.

“You _asshole_.” He adds as Jesse cracks up on his other side.

They drive in silence for some time as the sunset gilds the tree-covered hills on the horizon. Ben finally speaks up as they’re passing a large field, autumn-bare and silver under the moon.

“Hey, is this-”

Claire slows the truck down, glancing around.

“It might actually be. Do you want to stop?”

“Can we?” Jesse asks “The stars should be out soon.”

As soon as Claire pulls into the field and parks the truck, the three of them climb into the back and begin to unroll the two sleeping bags. Once again, Ben finds himself between Claire and Jesse, neither of whom seem to be able to leave his side since yesterday. Not that he’s complaining. It’s a little cooler tonight than it was that last time, the same field, millennia ago, and Ben’s grateful for the chance to draw Jesse and Claire in closer to him.

He’s not totally sure what’s going on here, Ben reflects as Claire interlaces her fingers with his and Jesse settles into his side, slinging one arm over his shoulders. Something tells him that something passed between Jesse and Claire while he was gone, something about the way they orbit each other now, or the way that Claire gingerly reaches across Ben’s chest, completing the circle when she clasps Jesse’s hand, and now Ben’s encircled, angel’s vessel and demon’s child on either side.

He wants to ask, of course, he’s dying to know about when it finally happened, how much Jesse told Claire and how much she already knew.

Still, Ben knows that asking about how they found each other would mean asking what happened when they lost him. And asking what happened then would mean trying to define what’s happening now, and now the stars are coming out and all he wants is to sleep between Claire’s arms and Jesse’s steady-beating heart.

 

“Thanks. For coming back for me.” He says quietly, and neither of them says anything, but Jesse gently tightens the arm around his shoulders and Claire- Claire lets go of his hand, only to bring her hand up to Ben’s cheek and guide his mouth to hers.

Kissing Claire is not entirely unexpected, not after he’d woken from death in her arms less than forty-eight hours ago, but Ben swears to every god he can think of that his heart literally flips as she slides her fingers into his hair, gently pushing him back into Jesse’s chest-

_Jesse_. Ben breaks the kiss instantly.

“Claire, I can’t- we- I” He stammers desperately. “Jesse and I-” He would have tried to start the same sentence another fifty times if Jesse hadn’t cut in.

“It’s okay, Ben.”

Ben tries to turn on Jesse, but they’re pressed uncomfortably close in the back of his stupid truck and Jesse’s right up in his face with his stupid, searching eyes and his stupid fucking mouth.

“What?” Ben demands.

“It’s okay. I know you’ve liked her for ages, and I know she has, too, even if it took her way too long to figure it out” He glances at Claire in a way that would be disapproving if it wasn’t so damn affectionate. “If you guys are happy-”

“Then, what, you’ll sit in your corner of the truck and look at Orion’s dick? Pretend that nothing ever happened with us? With Claire? Don’t even look at me like you’re surprised I know about that, I can tell she cares about you, too.”

Claire sits up fully, cross-legged facing the two of them.

“Well, what do you want to do, then?”

Ben fights the urge to roll his eyes. “Can we not do this? Can we not analyze the shit out of this, because I care about both of you and I really don’t want to have to choose and I don’t want to make either of you choose, either, so can you please just come back over here and help me make sure Jesse has something to brag about the next time he plays Never Have I Ever?”

Claire meets his eyes, searching for a joke or a sign of doubt, but finds none. Her eyes flicker to Jesse’s, flashing blue even in the low light of the moon.

Without a word, she rises up onto her knees, Jesse meeting her halfway.The kiss confirms his theory about the two of them- it’s probably not their first, judging by the depth of it, by the way they’re both softly smiling when they break apart. And that’s when Jesse turns to him, kissing him so hard, rough lips and tongue and fingers warm on the back of his neck, that he suddenly remembers that he’s been dead for four _months_ , and the thought of being without Jesse or Claire for that long is so utterly unimaginable.

“I’m so sorry for leaving you.” He says softly.

“Prove it.” Claire says, straddling his lap and pulling his shirt over his head. She’s unbelievably beautiful above him, the tendrils of hair that have come loose from her braid shining. She begins to rock her hips against him and when he puts his hands on her hips to steady her he has to bite his lip because of how much he wants this. On his left, Jesse is still kissing him, nuzzling at the base of his throat, fingers hot with desire (not burning, though, Ben notes absently- clearly, Claire has been helping with more than combat training). He slides his hands down Jesse’s arms and does his best to undo his belt buckle, a task which requires far too much concentration than he can muster at this point, when between the two of them Ben’s surprised he can remember his own name.

Claire bends down to his mouth again, and Ben takes the chance to pull her shirt over her head. She shivers a little at the first breath of night air on her bare skin, but her mouth doesn’t leave his as her fingers skate down his bare chest to deftly undo the buttons of his jeans and Ben almost laughs because _of course_ Claire’s a much better multitasker than he is.

Jesse draws away from Ben as Claire begins to drag kisses across his neck and down to his chest.

“Can I?” He asks, one hand on her shoulder, the other still warm on Ben’s neck.

“For Never Have I Ever, right?” She asks, amusement evident in her eyes.  Ben’s amazed at how much she’s relaxed. He doesn’t know exactly what happened in the last few months but he can’t help but be grateful to whatever turned the girl who’d be distant and on edge for hours after letting someone else give her stitches to the one who curls into his side as she makes room for Jesse. Jesse’s bigger than Claire, and Ben feels small in the best possible way when Jesse picks up where Claire left off, one hand on either side of Ben’s torso to steady himself. Ben curls his fingers into Jesse’s hair as he moves further and further down.

And then he’s there, kissing and licking and Jesus fucking Christ, for a guy with zero experience besides a hotel towel and some crush in Australia, Jesse’s fucking amazing. Ben’s eyes are clenched shut and he’s honest-to-God moaning before Claire kisses him again, all tongue and blue-hot energy, and when he comes, she swallows his gasp before it can hit the air.

Jesse slides back up his chest and kisses him again, hard, and Ben can taste the tang of his own cum on Jesse’s lips and if that isn’t hot as all hell he doesn’t know what is.

“Damn, Jesse, you sure you weren’t lying to us?” He whispers raggedly. Jesse laughs.

“Guess I’m just a natural.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.” Claire says, cupping Jesse’s face with one hand and pulling him down to her. After a long kiss, she wraps her legs around his hips and abruptly flips them until Jesse is lying on his back and Claire is pinning his hands firmly above his head.

“What’s that you said about being a natural?” She says in a low voice that goes straight to Ben’s stomach.

“I think the idea was for me to show you.” Jesse says evenly. “But your pants are kinda in the way.”

Claire lets out an almost-laugh before releasing Jesse’s hands. They immediately go to her waist, slowly undoing the button on her jeans. His eyes never leave hers. Ben’s already breathless when Claire reaches down and threads her fingers into his, and he’s content to lie beside them, close enough to feel the warmth from their bodies, close enough to hear the hitch in Claire’s breath as Jesse loops his fingers into the waistband of her practical black underwear and slides it down until she can pull it off.

“Don’t worry about screwing up the first time.” Claire says as she shifts forward, positioning her thighs on either side of Jesse’s head, Enochian scars faintly glowing in the starlight. “I’m a very good teacher.”

Fortunately, Jesse’s a fast learner, and after only a few quiet instructions Claire finds herself quite incapable of saying anything at all, and has bite down on her lower lip to prevent herself from crying out as she climaxes, shuddering, her free hand pressed against the back window of the truck.

She slides back down between Ben and Jesse, one hand tangled gently in Jesse’s hair.

“Well done.” She says breathlessly, and pulls him in to kiss her again. Biting his lower lip before pulling away, she draws a long, desperate gasp from Jesse. His pupils are blown wide and his breathing is ragged as Claire traces the length of his neck with one long finger.

“C’mon, that’s not fair.” Ben says in his defense. “Don’t leave him hanging like that.”

“Of course.” Claire says in a voice like silk hiding a blade. “That would be _unfair_ , wouldn’t it?” On the last word, she reaches down and palms Jesse through his jeans, eliciting a moan that is far closer to a whine than Jesse would care to admit. She pushes him back until he’s half-sitting in the corner of the truck and she’s leaning over him, still absently tracing across his neck and chest.

“Shall we take care of him, then?” She asks Ben, who is all too eager to help, mouthing kisses across Jesse’s chest. Claire takes hold of his hand and guides it to the waistband of Jesse’s jeans.

“Is this okay?” Ben asks, holding Jesse’s gaze intently.

“God, please.” Jesse is breathless and wide-eyed.  In a few strokes, he’s spilling all over Ben’s hand, a myriad of profanities and half-considered declarations escaping his mouth.

“Love you too, Jesse.” Ben says with a laugh, resting his forehead on Jesse’s chest. Beside him, Claire reaches down to pull the other sleeping bag across the three of them, only just now noticing how cold the night has grown. Ben turns to kiss her again, and Claire can’t help but grab his wrist, touch his neck, fingers brushing to pulse points and feeling him, _alive alive alive_ and if she doesn’t stop this right now she might cry. So instead she tucks herself into the his side, casually throwing one of her legs across his. She feels Jesse’s hand in her hair as he wraps one arm around Ben’s shoulders and, at last, her eyes begin to drift closed.

Overhead, the three stars of the Hunter’s belt shine bright and constant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to Julia and Maija for reading it in its painful first drafts (and for listening to my eternal complaints about the strategical difficulty in writing a threeway), I know it's weird to read smut written by your friends. Your help was invaluable.  
> Also eternal thanks to Liz and Cally for this brilliant 'verse! It's so much fun to write for. I hope I did right by your babies :)


End file.
